Don't Ever Make A Plan

I was looking forward to this weekend a lot.  I was going to get a lot of work done on Saturday and go to an island with Esther on Sunday.  Probably stay in Friday night.

Wrong. Wrong.  And wrong.

After we (sadly) finished up Single Ladies in dance class, my dance class friend said that we should go to the sauna on Saturday.  So I said "Hooray!  Let's go."

I drank a lot Friday night and got home at 3.30am.  My friend called me at 10am on Saturday and though I could have slept more we went to the sauna.  As we were leaving the sauna we ran into out dance teacher.  Hilarity ensued.

We drove around and ate and drank beer (before noon, god love Korea).  Then we went to see 12 Years A Slave.  A very SAD SAD movie.  Yet something about this movie amused my two companions.  They chuckled and smiled and giggled throughout while I sat in shock and horror as tears streamed down my face.  I am not understand.

They asked me what my plans were tomorrow in what I thought was mere curiosity.  I told them I was going to go to an island with my friend.  They said "together!"  So together we went.  We drove to the ferry and took the car on the ferry and drove and hiked around the island.  We drank beer all day and ate delicious food.  They do not know barely a word of English.  But we trucked through it.  It was such an unexpected and awesome hilarious weekend.

Dance 수업

This was a hard weekend.  Things didn't go according to plan.  I ended up absolutely exhausted by Sunday night yet couldn't sleep due to a Skype date which was more than welcomed.  The ease of true friendship never lets me down.

Sunday night I hoped to sleep but due to stress I slept very little and I had a very vivid dream where I was cast as a very minor character in a show and my sole line was "many unlucky days."  It doesn't get more Freudian than that.

This morning I went to work and attempted to be in the best mood I could be.  I even listened to "Ain't Nothin' Gonna Break My Stride" and I can't think of a more uplifting song than that.

When I got to my adult class I mentioned my weekend.  I guess I didn't realize how disappointed I was in how it went until I spoke it alound and had to use ever force I had not to cry.  One student even said "Katie, face very red."  Oh no.

The rest of the day was average.  Finally work ended and I got to dance class.  I always look forward to dance class on Monday to see what the new K-Pop song is.  This week no K-Pop.  SINGLE LADIES by Beyonce.  I kinda freaked out.  I've always wanted to learn this dance and I knew in my heart that my teacher chose it because of me.  I'm the only foreigner ever. 

I arrived early to class and I watched the class before me dance to "Single Ladies" and I realized this was our dance.  I felt so happy.  My teacher came out to ask if I liked the song.  I said I was so happy.  I know he did this for me.  Every bad feeling disappeared.  I was so excited.

After work, two dance students took me out to drink.  They knew no English so we spoke Korean.  I've been studying a lot and we got along well.  I was so impressed with myself and so happy to make friends.  And one student confirmed that our teacher chose "Single Ladies" because of me.  

This day started off really bad, but joining dance class has been so inspirational.  I'm such a bad dancer, but it's so fun to try.  The worst day here had become the best day. 

What the Fox Say?

It always strikes me how trends spread here like rapid fire.  It's because Korea is such a small country, and it's so intensely homogenous.  A few examples of this in the classroom:

1.  Mother, Father, Gentleman.

If you are unaware of the latest Psy song, his sequel to "Gangnam Style," it's "Gentleman."  It's a song whose chorus goes "I'm a mother, father, gentleman." 

This is fun for English teachers.  And by 'fun' I mean 'kill me, kill me now.'  EVERY SINGLE TIME I have to teach a new class about family I encounter this.  As I teach "It's a mother, it's a father..." I get interrupted by a rambunctious student who yells "Teacher, TEACHER!! Mother father one more time."  So I roll my eyes and monotonously say "Mother, father..." and wait while they all yell "GENTLEMAN" at an ear-piercing volume.

2.  Let It Go.

This one in actually cute.  At this point, I don't think there is a single person in Korea who has not see the movie "Frozen."  Not one.  Even the president must have seen it.  It's all anyone talks about and if that wasn't enough, "Let It Go" plays in every single coffee shop and bar.  Mention the word "snowman" and instantly students yell back "teacher, oh-la-puh" (Olaf).  If I say, "okay let's do something else" this prompts "Teacher, Elsaaaa."  Yeah, yeah.  One day, as I was trying to teach 6 four-year-olds about toys I was interrupted by a boy in the class named Cole, who started to yell "Let it gooooooooo" as loudly and off-pitch as he could and for the next five minutes of class I endured a rousing chorus of the words "let it go, let it go" on repeat because that's all they know.

3.  What Does The Fox Say.

The most obnoxious example of this is "What Does The Fox Say?"  Though I'll admit this song has come in handy when teaching animal sounds, this song has become the bane of my existence in ways.  Like I said, it's fun to use this song when I want to ask my class about what a cow says or rabbit says.  "What the cow say?  Moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo moo."  You get the idea.  However, I have one class who was clever enough to figure out that "What the fox" sounds a like like "What the ..."  (fill in the blank, reader).  This class will sit in class and go "What the foc...x say."  To which I respond, "yeah, that's...that's a good one guys.  You're so funny...ha. ha. ha."  Sadly, they don't understand sarcasm.

Jeonju

Off the bat, I'll know I'll get a little backlash for this one.  I'm fine, seriously.  I always use my judgement.

Last Saturday, February 1st, was New Year's Day in accords to the Chinese Lunar Calendar which is also in practice in Korea.  So I decided to get an little escape from Yeosu and go to a town called Jeonju which is known for it's traditional folk village "Hanok Mal (한옥마을). " 

The last time I visited Jeonju, it was virtually dead.  Mostly everything way closed.  I feared this may be the case once more, since it was a holiday.  WRONG.  It was so packed in the village I felt like I was in Shang-Hai.  (Politically incorrect??)  It was so hard to get anywhere, there were so many people.  This fact is why I knew right off the bat that someone was following me.

While pushing and shoving my way through the village, I made a second-too-long eye-contact with a guy who had a grammatically incorrect English shirt on.  This one was particularly offensive to the name of English and I without thinking did a double take to 1. read the shirt and 2. throw my hands up in anguish.

Later on, I decided I needed a break from the madness that ensued around me as Korean people in general cannot a. walk in a straight line b. NOT walk in a blockade of the throng type variety or c. let anyone through or EVER move out of the way.  They just can't allow it.  I decided to sit down and drink some coffee.

I chose a coffee shop with a really cute lion dog in it.  You know, this kind:   I pet the dog and somehow I scared it.  I looked up to see if anyone was around to share a 'haha' moment with, and who did I see through the window but the guy with the bad English shirt.  I thought, hmm, that's a coincidence.  But deep down, I knew something was up.

I got my coffee just as I was finishing it I noticed that the bad English shirt guy was down in the coffee shop, sitting at a table a bit near mine, but not drinking coffee or any liquid of any kind in fact.  Red flag.  Finally he got up and, as these things always turn out for me, he came over to my table and asked to sit with me.  I think my exact words were "...ugh...sure..."

And so he did.  He asked a few generally questions and then I got hit with it.  "So, are you a Christian?"  Ugh.  I came to Korea because I thought this was a country full of Buddhists.  I could NOT have been more wrong about anything in my life.

I avoided the question entirely because nothing motivates a missionary more than someone that says "no" to that question.  I tried to get up to leave but he decided that he was going to be a part of the rest of my journey through Jeonju.  I couldn't shake him.

We went to look at an art gallery.  Inside, the owner thought we were a couple and took about twenty pictures of us together.  When he finally noticed my somewhat horrified expression, he asked me why I wasn't smiling and the bad English shirt guy finally explained that I wasn't his girlfriend.  That was awkward for everyone involved there.

While in the shop, the bad English shirt guy decided he needed to buy me something so I let him buy me a postcard.  Hey, I'm not one to pass up free gifts...but it's not going to convert me over to Christianity if that's what he was hoping.

After we left I needed to just leave Jeonju.   I couldn't take it anymore.  Just as I was about to hail a cab, the bad English shirt guy said he'd drive me to the station.  I'm not one to pass up a free ride...so there I went.

I had thought we had gotten past the God-pushing part of our time together but it turns out that the car ride was the perfect opportunity for him to make me watch God videos on his cell-phone.  Videos so cheesy and terrible that I could have vomed everywhere.  Vom.com/youtubegodvideos.  Bleh.

What do you say in response to these videos?  I just said "um...that's nice."  I have no idea.  When we finally arrived at the station I just kinda booked it.  See ya never.  Like one cheesy youtube video was going to convert me into a Christian.  Jeez.  Can't we all just believe what we want to believe quietly to ourselves in peace?  Why do people have to shove their religious beliefs down other people's throats?

Anyway, Happy New Year's.

The living fossils...goats

This weekend was full of firsts for me.  After work on Friday, we drank and then took the midnight bus to Seoul.  We arrived in Seoul at 4:00 am and decided it was best to just sleep in the bus terminal for we needed to be at Camp Kim at 8:30. 

We got to the bus terminal and we found all of these seating areas surrounded by various faux-foliage.  So we chose one area to be out campground.  Our clothes had gotten wet on the bus because the floor of the bus was wet and we put our bags down.  So we took out our wet clothes and hung them around our area to dry.  It looked so much like camping that it prompted Robby to say "ah, I love camping."  At that moment this weird music came on and we could hear birds chirping.  It was perfect timing.  Camping!

Later when we were looking around the bus terminal, we passed a true picturesque scene.  We walked by a McDonald's where they had a bench with a statue of Ronald McDonald sitting and next to Ronald was an old Korean man just hangin' out.  It was hilariously anachronistic.

We finally got to Camp Kim which is the USO base and where we began our DMZ tour.  First we went to one of the underground caves that North Koreans had build in attempt to infiltrate South Korea.  Before the tunnel we got to watch a movie about the DMZ and how beautiful it is and how many wonderful wild animals live in the DMZ including "the living fossils...goats."  Bahahahaha

In the tunnel everyone had to duck to walk through because the ceiling was so low.  Everyone...except for me.  I ducked not once, not once.  Take that tall people, no back pain for me!  So many advantages!

We went to a spot where you could look into North Korea and we went to the train station that connected Seoul to Pyongyang.  But the most exciting part was going to the Joint Security Area and getting to step into North Korea.  Bam!

Later that evening we met a friend in Gangnam.  He took us around for drinking and one bar carded us.  Now, not only was this the first time I have ever been carded or seen anyone be carded in Korea, it was the first time I've ever been carded outside of North America.  However, I suppose I'm grateful and I take it as a compliment,

The next day we went to Everland, home of the steepest wooden roller coaster in the world.  It is the best roller coaster I have ever been on in my life.  It was awesome. 

Everland was Halloween themed when we got there (in the beginning of September) and everyone kept singing "Happy Halloween" and we were just like....not Halloween.  But it was cool because we got to go into this terrifying haunted house.  I love haunted houses; I go everywhere to get to the best ones.  This one was unexpectedly the best haunted house I've ever been in.  It was so scary.  I was genuinely terrified.  They did such a good job.

But the bext and most unexpected part about Everland and the whole trip was that we got to see a Liger!  I didn't know they were real.  But they are!  They are so bizarre looking.  Much bigger than a lion or a tiger.  They have tiger stripes and lion color.  So mythical-looking...wow, fantastic.

바 보

I was walking Benes today when I came across a couple with a dog.  (This is pretty rare, most people are terrified of dogs). 


The couple came up and started talking to Benes and they tried to get her to do some tricks.  Benes only knows "sit" in Korean, so "anja."  But Benes ain't the brightest crayon so the guy is going "anja!  anja!" and she was just staring at him with a look of sheer confusion on her face.  Then they tried "hand" or "som" and that wasn't happening either. 

So I patted Benes on the head and said "babo" which means "stupid" in Korean.  I was trying to make a joke like "she's dumb so she can't do tricks."  But the couple thought I meant that her name is "babo."

The guy then starts asking me "where are you from?" and all that.  Then he points to his girlfriend.  "My...girlfriend."  Then, he points to her again but looks directly at me.  "I love you," meaning "I love her."  Pronouns are tough...



So anyway,  I walked away but turns out they were going in the same direction as me so they started after me yelling "BABO!!!!  BAABOO!!!"in attempt to call Benes and get her attention.  I just laughed and laughed.


When we both crossed the street they called to Benes again, convinced she was going the wrong way although I had her on a leash, "Babo!!"



God this was so funny, SO funny.

You Can Call Me Jelly

 

I know I’ve talked about English names before.  But it’s a constant source of amusement and frustration to me.  Most of the time foreign teachers name the new students, thus “Atreyoo,” “Tobias,” “Mick,” “Raphael,” and such.  I tried to name one “Jafar” but he wouldn’t have it.  Anyway, sometimes either A, the students name themselves or B the Korean teachers name them.  Both A and B produce problems of what I deem epic proportions.

There are a few students at E-World who have named themselves.  These students are “Shinee” who named himself after his favorite K-Pop band, “Chandler” whose parents probably watch Friends, and most recently “Jelly,” whom after telling me her name proceeded to say “yum, yum.”  To this I throw my hands up.  Whatever you kids want, just don’t go to a western country and tell people that they can call you by your English name – Jelly.  No no no.

Far worse are the Korean teachers who think they know everything, which is why I teach two boys named “Raven,” a boy named “June,” a boy named “Jaeden,” and a girl named “Haley” but spells her name “Healy.”  How many times have I argued that Raven isn’t even a name and if it is a name, it’s a name for a black girl?  How many times have I told Healy and the Korean teachers that Healy is not how you spell Haley and that it can NEVER be spelled like that?  It’s like talking to a brick wall.  What’s far more infuriating is when I name a student and the Korean teachers try and tell me that it’s not a name.  Um…excuse me?  Who’s the native English speaker?  Don’t ever argue with me about that.