A Korean New Years

I think I win for most sporadically-ridiculous New Year’s.Eve of 2012.

A few weeks ago, my boss introduced me to her friend Soon Min, the guy whom with I went virtually golfing.  Since then, I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to observe and experience how hilarious and insane this dude is.

After golf that night he drove me home and said we should go skiing next time.  So I said yes, let’s go sometime after May’s wedding.  Now when you tell a Korean “after” in any context they will take it to mean IMMEDIATELY after.  So right after May’s wedding Christmas Eve, we went night skiing at a place three hours outside Yeosu.

I assure you that much hilarity ensued on our ski trip, but I’d rather get to New Year’s Eve.  While skiing I mentioned that I wanted (at some point) to see Mission Impossible 4.  Soon Min said he did too and the next day after we had gone skiing until 5am he called and was like “Mission Impossible today?”  And Meg and I were like, “…how about another time, Soon Min.”

That other time ended up being New Year’s Eve.  We saw Mission Impossible* (I love Tom Cruise!!) and then we went to eat live, pry-them-open-and-cut-them-out, oysters.  I don’t think I’ve ever had oysters before but I still feel confident in saying oysters don’t get better than this. 

Now, Soon Min, is a very “need to take care of you/you’re a woman therefore you need help) kind of guy.  For example, I had developed my own method of opening the oysters but Soon Min just kept shaking his head and exclaiming “Katie!  No!  It’s wrong!”  Then he would take the oyster from me and open it himself.  I say, hey, the oysters were being opened even if it’s not the ‘correct’ way so that’s that.  But Soon Min was so fretful over it.

Afterwards Soon Min was driving us home when I asked (and I should have known better based on prior experience with Soon Min) how Koreans celebrate New Years.  Soon Min can only speak a few words of English so lost in translation he took this as we wanted to go to a New Year’s Party.  So we drove to a famous mountain in Yeosu where there were people performing and singing and dancing.

There was a famous K-Pop band playing and after they were done the crowd died down a bit and Soon Min scored us some seats close to the front of the stage.  I really liked one singer so I was all “woooo” and “yeeaahhh get it.”  Apparently they don’t do this in Korea because I drew some attention not only in the crowd but from the host of the show.  I heard him speaking in Korean and then I heard/saw heads turn and stare at me.   Soon Min said “he’s talking to you.”  So I looked and he said “You’re very beautiful, I love you!  You are my girlfriend.”  

They love to declare this as if once it’s been said then it’s the truth.  This isn’t the first time I’ve just been blatantly told that I’m someone’s girlfriend. 

Later on, the audience had the opportunity to win prizes.  The prizes (and this is SO Korea) were Gat Kimchi.*

First some guy was singing and the host told people to go up and dance.  Now, I don’t remember going up there, or who forced me up there, but I ended up dancing with these two ageimas onstage and then I got a box of Gat Kimchi.

I thought it was over when Soon Min (having seen my performance at May’s wedding) signed me up to sing Mamma Mia.

So I went up there to sing Mamma Mia (which is quickly becoming the theme song of my Korean year) but before I did the host made me talk to him.  I was up there in front of say, 100-150 people, while the host was asking me if I had a boyfriend and telling me that my eyes were “deep, like a lake.”  (A lake not an ocean.  In other words: deep, but not too deep.)  It was preposterous.  Finally he let me sing while occasionally interjecting in the song but only briefly.  He would sing “Just One Look!” and then stop and “Mamma Mia!” and then stop.  He was quite humorous.  I won a second box of Gat Kimchi.

Before I left the stage he asked for my New Year’s message.  So I said “Sey Hey Bok Ma Ni Paduseyo” very slowly and probably made a fool of myself.  But I tried.

On the way out we got to tie a Korean message onto a steel frame of what I think was a duck.  This time I was a little more creative.  “T-Minus 355 days to the Zombie Apocalypse.  Live Well.  Memento Mori.  ~Katie Lynn”

For it being the first New Years spent away from Avery and Jess, I’d say I did it justice.  It was apretty ridiculous,, hard to put down into words, but I hopefully I caught the gist of it. 

T-Minus 352 days until the Zombie Apocalpyse.  Start preparing. J

*Apparently the word “syndicate” is the same word in Korean, who’da thought?

*Kimchi made of mustard leaves instead of cabbage.