I have many a "special" student, trust me on this, many a "special" student. Thus, it is somewhat unimaginable that I would be able to focus a blog on two above the rest, but after today...le sigh. This one is for Atreyoo and Colin, respectively.
Atreyoo is an indescribable creature. He's one of my older students; I'd say 12? 11? But he's just not right. He was named Atreyoo after the kid from The Never-Ending Story by a former teacher just before she left E-World. What a perfect name for him. He is my student, but he is famous at E-World because he's such a ridiculous person. I really can't describe him at all, but when I tell you about a few stories in which he stars, just picture a fat, dumb, spacey-looking kid with bad teeth.
So first of all, he's pretty dumb. He is in the level just before Exploring (which begins the advanced English levels at E-World) which means his English should be pretty good by now. The other day in class he asked me: "Teacher. 'Shut up' spelling, whaaaattt????" So I said: "A." He wrote is down frivilously and then looked back up at me, so I said "T." Again he scribbled it down. "R." Again. "E." Again. "Y." Again. "O." Again. "O." Then he looked down and snapped his head up "Teacher!! Gah!!" Really Atreyoo? You didn't realized that "Shut Up" wasn't spelled A-T-R-E-Y-O-O until the last letter??? Come on.
A few weeks ago, his mother bought him a sharp pencil that was apparently really expensive. Kids go crazy over sharp pencils here - this is literally a whole other story. Anyway, he lost his sharp pencil right before my class. I tried to help him look for it but it was nowhere to be found. Eventually I started class. But Atreyoo was very upset about the loss of his pencil and he just sat in his chair with an exasperated look on his face going "shaarrrrp-uh" "shaaaarrrppp-uh." Over and over. I felt bad for him but it was so funny. I tried to explain that, if anything, he should be going "penciiiiillll" "penciiiiilll." But still he continued "shaarrrrppp-uh."
I know that last story cannot possibly be as funny on paper as it was in real life, but everything I think about it I laugh out loud to myself. I'll do impressions of it in the future.
I have a plethora of stories about Atreyoo, but for now we'll move onto Colin.
This kid is a little troublemaker. Again, difficult to describe, but I'll try. He's in a pretty low English level. He's about 8 or 9. He is a really funny kid. He's not bad per se, but he doesn't EVER shut his mouth or stop talking or sit down. He always just plays around and giggles and makes loud ridiculous noises. He ALWAYS draws poop. No matter what the assignment is - poop. One time I had them draw their dream house and his dream house was a poop house that was pooping. So gross.
Whenever he cracks himself up so bad that he has to go to the bathroom he says "Ah!!! Teacher! Yellow water!!" Sidenote and somewhat ironically, the word for blood in Korean is "Pee" 피.
Today we had to read this stupid mini-story in class. Every teacher hates this mini-story. It's the absolute worst. Here's the entirety of the dialog: "Look! A carrot! Let's pull it out!" "Ok! Let's pull it out!" "Use your arms! Use your arms and legs!" "Hooray! The carrot is out." Fucking stupid.
Anyway, after reading the mini-story, I asked all the students "Did you like the story? Yes, I did or No, I didn't." I got to Colin and he said "I didn't like the story, but I liked the movie."
I realize as I write this that this in no way comes across on paper, but I laughed so hard in class - yellow water, yellow water.
Next, the students had to draw what they thought happens next in the story. Once again, Colin provided absolute amusement. "Colin, what happens next?"
"Mother is, sister...home run!" I look at his drawing and he drew a picture of the mother holding the carrot like a baseball bat and swinging at the daughter's head as if it were a baseball. God, so funny.
Gonna miss this.
