Abusing My Power?

I really love being an ESL teacher.  I basically just entertain myself in 50 minute intervals for six hours a day because my students rarely know what’s going on.  I sing to myself, laugh to myself, tell myself jokes….  My students often ask me what time it is and every single time I say “time to buy a watch hahaha.”  They never understand, they just stare at me and say “teachah, time whaaat??”  I refuse to answer with anything but “time to buy a watch.”  Refuse. 

Sometimes I’ll tell them to take out their books and they’ll go “teachahh, whhyyyyyyy” and I just respond “because ‘Y’ is a crooked letter,” admittedly a saying that I don’t even understand but my mother always said that to me whenever I asked too many ‘why’ questions.  Anyways, then I just giggle to myself because my students have no idea what I’m talking about.

I can get away with saying basically anything to them because they have no idea.  It’s sad sometimes when I have a really good quip or retort to something a student has said so I say it and then I laugh to myself for 5 minutes and my students just have blank stares.

I do love when a class just decides to repeat everything I say.  When I notice this happening, no matter what, no matter what transpires in between, I always make it end with “supercalifragilisticexmialidocious” because they end up just going “supercali-alalalalalalalalalalalalalala” and it’s hilarious.

I also love the things kids come up with.  Today, I had the class that is in competition with each other.  They were coloring and then going “Done! I am number one!”  “Done.  I am number two!” and so on.  I REALLY hate it so in the midst of it all I’m just sitting there yelling, “No one cares!  No one cares!  No one cares!” over and over until one students starts going “Yes one cares!  Yes on cares!  Yes one cares!”  Can’t argue with the logic.

Another treasure was the day one class was doing their reading book and one student saw a picture of what appeared to be a father so she took out her pencil and wrote “father” next to the picture with an arrow.  Then one of the students looked closer and it turns out the father only had one eye and thus was a cyclops.  The student who wrote ‘father’ in her book took a second look then exuded a look of horror as she gasped and yelled out “FATHER NOOOO!!!!” and feverishly erased her writing.  Hilarious I tell you.