First Person Golfer

Of all the things I thought I might try or do or learn in Korea, Golf was never one of them.  Partially because (and I'm still under this impression) I never thought of Korea as having golf courses.

Well, as far as I know, they don't.  But after tonight, I have learned that they have something much more logical involving a lot less work.  Yes, I'm talking golf without all the exercise and slugging things around.  Golf for the uninspired.  Golf for the weak.  That is: VIRTUAL GOLF.

Now I know Virtual Golf has existed for years, mostly in the form of video games or arcades, but there is a very big distinction here.  First, let me explain how I stumbled upon this Korean goldmine.

A few days ago, my boss came into the teachers room, and in her very random, spontaneous way she said "you must want to talk to someone who can help you learn Korean, you should meet my friend."  I don't know if she was picking up on my lack of friends or if she just thought our personalities would be a good match but yadda yadda we set up a time to meet.

Tonight was that night.  Tonight was also the night I realized how little Korean I knew, for my boss's friend spoke very little English and conversation was really a struggle.  Long story short, our lack of good communication lead him into believing that I was an expert golfer.  Apparently "mini golf" doesn't mean in Korea what it means in America.

So Sang Min is all "Oh really??" And then says we should go and I'm all:
Me: "Ok!"
Sang Min: "Ok!"
Me:  "Now?"
Sang Min:  "Now?"
Me:  "Ok!"
Sang Min:  "Ok!"

I'm not a word off there.  So we get to the golf place and turns out it's a really big private room that in an ideal situation you go to with all of your friends, drink lots of beer and play some serious golf.  There's a sensor.  It's scary because the golf ball bounces so hard against the wall after you hit it that I couldn't help but ponder how many people have gotten seriously injured in one of these places (especially drunken ageshies).

And they were playing bird noises the whole time.  There were giant speakers and from them came only bird chirps and noises.  Is it because of the "birdie" in golf?  I don't know.

Anyway, apparently I'm god-AWFUL at golf.  I'm so so terrible.  Not once did I NOT hit double-par.  I have never felt like such a girl in my life!  Don't forget I played a hooker in a play this summer.  The worst part was that I had told him that I was good at golf.  1) Because I thought he meant mini golf and 2) because what are the chances you are ever going to be called out on a statement like that?

Aside from the fact that even though I sucked it really was a lot of fun, the one good thing I can say I got out of it (at the risk of exposing my inner dorkiness, oh wait...I do that everyday) is that I totally had a "hips before hands" moment.  Sang Min is a really nice guy and it was completely innocent; he was honestly trying his best to teach me how to play golf and to not completely fail (which I did despite all of his best efforts) but this mentoring resulted in my "hips before hands" moment, so even though it was meaningless, I still feel happy.

Aside from learning how to golf, who am I kidding I cannot golf my way out of a paper bag, I learned a few new Korean words!  I learned how to say 'closer,' 'back,' 'strong,' 'less strong,' and I forgot what else.  But very very important words for everyday conversation I'd say!

To conclude, in Korea, everything that you could ever want to do activity-wise can be done virtually somewhere in a temperature controlled room with beer and food.  I have yet to find any exceptions to this theory. 

There was talk of going skiing (I think?) but I have no idea if this means virtual skiing or real skiing.  To be continued....